FINALLY! A New Soda Shop Is Coming To Southern Utah!

As you drive around Southern Utah, you're probably wondering the same thing as me...

WE NEED MORE DRINK SHOPS!

In Southern Utah, we ONLY HAVE:

• Swig (BLVD)
• Swig (Tabernacle)
• Swig (Mall Drive)
• Swig (Santa Clara)
• Swig (Bluff Street)
• Swig (Cedar City)
• Fiiz (River Road)
• Fiiz (Hurricane)
• Fiiz (Cedar City)
• Splash Drinks (Bluff Street)
• Splash Drinks (River Road)
• Pop (Sunset BLVD)
• Pop (By Costco)
• Thirst (BLVD)
• Quench It! (By Summit)
• Slurps Up! (Cedar City)
• Sipsanity (Port Of Subs)
• Mixers (Cedar City)
• Pick Me Up Drinks (Hurricane)
• Soda Nerd (Cedar City)
• The Big Sipper (Enoch)

THAT'S IT! SERIOUSLY! ONLY 21! Can we PLEASE get some more?? WE NEED IT!

Well... THE WAIT IS ALMOST OVER! Introducing:

CHUGGERS DRINKS & DELICACY'S! "Make It Filthy"

The first location of MANY, located on 700 South just east of Arby's. This historical building is most likely haunted, and the windows have been boarded up for the better part of 2 decades. We're excited to bring life to this beautiful old home.

OTHER drink shops have trademarked the word "Dirty" For their mixed sodas with coconut... well at Chuggers you can MAKE IT FILTHY!

Here are some of our most popular drinks that YOU WILL LOVE!

• OJ Slurpson (Orange Juice, Mountain Dew, served inside a black leather glove)
• Ellen DeBeverage (Sprite, Cherry Syrup, Coconut Syrup, thrown in your face)
• Johnny Pepp (Dr. Pepper, Lime, Coconut Syrup. With a floating plastic poop.)
• Cup of Joe Biden (Black coffee and... something else. We forget.)
• Orange FanTrump (Orange Fanta, Strawberry Syrup. Be careful! This drink will dye your skin!)

Our Secret Recipe Chugger Sugar Cookie:

A fan favorite! A crunchy sugar cookie with an off-white frosting topped with way too many sugar crystals.

Our "Lighthouse" Cookies:

The Lighthouse represents hope and charity. With every Lighthouse Cookie sold, we donate 10% to the Urology Foundation.

Kids LOVE our Saturday Only SPONGEBOB & PATRICK Cookies!:

The Spongebob cookie is a BIG HIT with the kids. They usually scream with joy just from seeing the cookie! They love it so much, they don't want to eat it or be around it! They want it safe forever.

And don't forget to try our FRESH, HOT PRETZELS!:

MMM! Who doesn't love a hot pretzel? Well these long, curly pretzels look like you found them in your Grandpa's barn.. But they taste even better!

Chuggers is looking for investors. If you would like to be an investor in Chuggers, please contact Cat Country Utah at 435.674.7014.

If you can't tell already... This article is SATIRE. But you've got to admit... The location and idea is AWESOME! Right?

Photo Credit: EscapeAdulthood.com, TheFreshLoaf.com, Conceptionary/Reddit, 9Gag.com