Pretty Girls Don’t Get Flipped-Off
Really pretty girls talk...really...slow. Have you noticed this?
They'll be telling a story, and going on and on including every little detail about their friend Kylee, who saw so-and-so on an Instagram story, and she's the one who lives three doors down from--and they struggle to get to the point.
And the reason they're bad at telling stories is because nobody has ever told them to get to the point. They're pretty. They run the world. It's the same reason cute girls are not great drivers. Nothing ever seems to be their fault. They're pretty, so nobody has ever flipped them off on the highway.
Donovan Mitchell and NBA stars are pretty girls. And unlike the NFL and NFL fanbases who throw stars out like garbage, (see LAR Todd Gurley, IND Peyton Manning, PHI LeSean McCoy) the NBA treats their stars like pretty girls.
"You want a trade mid contract...fine! Please give us a good review to your pretty friends!"
"You want a buddy of yours who sucks at basketball on the team so you can hangout and play Xbox with him? Great! He's signed!"
And even when they use a broad brush to disparage the whole fanbase of their former franchise...when they come back to town:
"Here's a standing ovation, please tell your star friends we're cool!"
Nobody gives the pretty girl who just cut them off the middle finger, and nobody gave that to Donovan in his return to Salt Lake.
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