St. George, Utah In 2070: A Playground For California Refugees And Rising Property Values
Get out your xenophobia medication...it's time to peer into the future of our beloved St. George, Utah!
Bill Nye tells us that California will either fall into the Pacific Ocean by 2070, or all of their residents will flee the state like that scene from that movie...
That means places like St. George, which has already been blessed with plenty of California refugees, will get even more by 2070.
Let's have a peek:
The Pacific Ocean will reach all the way to The Ledges. This will help property values skyrocket.
Dodger Stadium will be relocated right off Bluff Street. Which will be great because I'll be able to watch the games outside my office window.
The downside is it's the *bleep*-ing Dodgers.
And then they're gonna put Tent City down 700 South, which'll be fun.
Celebrity sightings will be much more common. As it is now celebrity sighings entail seeing either DJ Tischner at Arby's or that guy who had the mullet in the Tyler Wilkinson movie.
In 2070 you'll have many more chances to get autographs.
Here's Billy Beane walking St. George Boulevard being hounded by paparazzi.
This guy doesn't age...
So it's not all bad!
The Californication of Utah is just something that we're gonna have to embrace.
We'll probably get a Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and maybe some more Check Cashing places.
Also, Utah Tech will be a member of the PAC 12. Trust me, it's a slight upgrade. The WAC is awesome but when they join the PAC we'll get to watch all of their games on ION TV.
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Gallery Credit: Mikey Foley