Why Most CFB Coaches Must be Crazy

By Andy Thompson, ESPN 977

You know at halftime of the big football games how they march out the CFO of Dr. Pepper and he's always stiff as a board, reading a script and seems to have no life force, no personality...there's a reason for that.

US News & World Report put out their "Top 25 Most Stressful Jobs for 2022" Financial manager/CFO's was #1, Why?

"If your company doesn’t meet its financial goals, you could be held accountable. So in this job, you need to be adept at managing stress."

#2 Lawyer. Big stake court cases, in the public eye, you win or lose on a stage. Court is stressful.

#3 Physician. Malpractice lawsuits. You have to execute correctly. You have to diagnose properly, you have to perform the surgery without mistakes, etc...understandable. That's why they get paid a lot. 

#8 Car Sales Manager. For me this might be #1. A job where you have a quota to hit and it's not totally under your control. You've gotta sell a 2003 Buick LeSabre. It's a lemon. You gotta sell it. A looky-loo comes to the lot, he's got Car Fax, he's got Carvana, you've got a used LeSabre that smells like Marlboros. You gotta close. Go! That's stress.

And the stress adds up and changes you. That's why people that work these high stress jobs are always mocked. Lawyers are slimy and will lie to win, Car Salesmen are relentless, overly aggressive. CEO's are stiff and robotic, afraid to make a mistake.

Here's a job that's a car salesman, a physician, a money manager, a politician, a cult leader and on and on all in one. College football coach. There's a reason Nick Saban is the way he is. When he was at Toledo he had to sell a lemon to recruits every day that's high stress. When he was with the Dolphins he had to confront the media about huge embarrassing losses after coaching malfeasance...like a physician who screwed up a surgery. Brian Kelly, another sociopath, huge money huge expectations, you gotta perform. That's why Kelly walks around stiff as a board and reading from a script wherever he goes. Just like the doctor pepper CEO. The stick up his butt is a stress stick. College football coaches should be #1 on the US News stressful jobs list.