Welcome to the lazy Utahn’s recap of the most recent Utah Jazz game. Do you want to talk to your friends about the game, impress them with cool stats, and act like you watch all 82 games like a true die hard even if you didn’t catch the big game last night? We got you covered in this simplistic breakdown of each topic that may arise from the latest Utah Jazz showdown.

I can’t wait to ask, considering they played so well the last two games, did Utah win????

I love the enthusiasm, just know that its wasted here.

Utah did not win. The final 105-91 score made a disgusting loss to the NBA’s worse Memphis Grizzlies look way closer than it actually was.

The Jazz got bit by a team that didn’t have teeth and fall to 6-12 on the year.

The Grizzlies 14-point dub is their largest of the season for their 4th win in 17 games.

Utah’s 6-12 start is their worst start in 18 games since the 2014-2015 season when they got off to a 5-13 record.

That was Quin Snyder’s first year as a head coach in Salt Lake City and the Jazz would finish 38-44 that season.

Every time the Jazz take a step forward, they seem to take two back.

Right, you are cotton. The consecutive wins over New Orleans made it appear that Utah was making great strides.

The defense was active, the ball movement was there, and the end result was a byproduct of an improved ball club.

Yet, last night, all those things disappeared.

Utah turned it over 7 more times and had 5 fewer assists than they did last time out.

Against higher quality teams, a dip is expected. Against a bottom 5 defense like Memphis, Utah should have been able to keep building.

Coach Hardy credited Memphis for getting physical with Utah:

That explains why the offense was out of sorts I guess, but it doesn’t change the fact that getting out physically performed by this iteration of the Grizzlies is the equivalent of being tackled by your 10-year-old niece at the turkey bowl.

It should have been something Utah should have stiff armed their way through after learning to be tough VS New Orleans, instead they folded like a dollar store lawn chair.

16 of Utah’s 34 buckets were from beyond the arc, and while you like the 41 percent shooting from deep, you can see the Grizzlies settled a lot less.

Memphis had 43 buckets, 30 of which were inside the arc, and 13 triples knocked down. Three less triples made, but 12 more Field Goals overall, while taking three less shots on the night prove that Memphis was more aggressive and certainly more effective.

But like, aren’t the Grizzlies playing without all their dudes?

Memphis was only missing Ja Morant, Marcus Smart, Brandon Clarke, Luke Kennard, Steven Adams and Xavier Tillman. So, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Desmond Bane scored 17 points on 17 shots but added 9 assists and three steals.

Jaren Jackson Jr rumbled to 20 points, 6 rebounds and an astounding 6 blocks, hence a big reason Utah seemed to prefer the three ball.

Who could forget David Roddy’s 19 points in 24 minutes? Roddy was 5/9 from downtown and grabbed 6 boards.

Ziare Williams had 15 off the bench, hitting all three of his deep balls. Santi Aldama had 11 points.

If those names aren’t sexy enough for you, how about 2010 NBA MVP, Derrick Rose scoring 14 while dishing out 9 assists? That’s his 3rd best scoring output of the year and his best assist game by 4.

I don’t feel any better, tell me about the Jazz.

You shouldn’t feel any better. Mind you, Lauri Markkanen missed his third straight game, but that’s no excuse for a loss to Memphis.

I won’t keep you on the line here, no one played well for Utah last night.

Technically, Luka Samanic was the best player on the floor and he saw just under six minutes of trash time. He did hit both tries for 5 points had a block and two rebounds, guaranteeing a rise in jersey sales for #19.

Your least bad of all the bad was John Collins who had 15 points and was 3 of 4 from deep by half. Like my ex, Collins would disappear when he was most needed only putting up 2 more points in half #2 for a total of 17 points on 14 tries with 4 boards.

Walker Kessler matched Jaren Jackson Jr in blocks on the night with 6 of his own which was really cool. What was less cool was his 36.4 percent shooting on 11 shots. His final stat line was 9 points and 8 rebounds.

Jordan Clarkson paced the team in Assists with a grand total of 5. He had 12 points while going 40 percent from the field. He also led the Jazz by coughing it up 5 times. 5 turnovers next to 5 assists is a great way to teach kids the concept of canceling out.

Keyonte George existed last night with 8 points, but only attempted six shots. 6 less than Horton-Tucker and 4 less than Collin Sexton. Yet somehow, he only scored 1 less than Sexton and three more than THT. Yes, I’m bitter.

Horton-Tucker took 12 shots and nailed two of them. He had 4 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 turnovers. Sexton was 3/10, 3 assists and 2 turnovers.


Simone Fontecchio who received a lot of praise for his last couple games, was 4/8 from downtown! He was also 0/5 from inside the arc. He finished with 12 points, 4 rebounds and 4 assists.

Kelly Olynyk had 5 points on two shots and has only taken a total of three attempts in two games now. He had 2 boards, 2 assists, and 2 steals making him consistent at the least.

Omer Yurtseven got another start but played only about half the minutes that Walker Kessler did. He had 4 points on 40 percent shooting with 4 rebounds and two turnovers.

Ochai Agbaji did some things he failed to do last game, by grabbing 4 rebounds, recording 3 assists and even blocked a shot. But unlike last game, he didn’t score, posting 5 points on 5 shots.

I don’t know if I want to ask for a stat of the night.

I don’t have one in favor of the Jazz, but to paint an even broader picture of how bad the loss was, here’s a fun Grizzlies fact.

Ugh, any highlight worthy plays?

Nope. Here’s a clip that sums it all up though:

And just because I want you to find a tiny bit of hope, check out what the 9th overall pick Taylor Hendricks is doing in the G league:


When do we have to pretend to care next?

Tonight. The Jazz face Rudy Gobert and Mike Conley at the Target Center in Minneapolis. The Timberwolves are 13-4 on the season and heavy favorites. Tip off and inevitable doom is at 6:00 Mountain time.


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