Southern Utah Fatty Apologizes to Popeye’s on River

Dear Popeye's on River,

This isn't easy.

You know that I said some things I'm not proud of when you forgot honey packets.

I maligned your 14-year-old drive thru attendant when I clearly said "blackened" ranch and the young man put in buttermilk. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the critical error.

I may have punched my steering wheel in a 20+ minute wait in the drive thru on a college football Saturday back in September.

Point is: that's all behind us now.

I patronized your drive thru last night. I ordered a #4 three strip combo with cajun fries, a Sprite and blackened ranch. And daggummit, you S.O.B.'s came through with it exactly!

You dotted every "i" and crossed every "t" on the receipt. I didn't have to follow-up with my sauce request. I didn't have to remind anybody I didn't want spicy chicken. The kid working the window was as polite and poised as a Chick Fil-A worker.

And most importantly, I got through the line in about seven minutes. That's "Louisiana Fast" baby.

This guy is basically me:

So, it takes a big man, and today that big man is me.

I'm sorry for the things I said in the past. I don't want to dwell on it. We have a bright future ahead of us. Here's me, ordering a five piece chicken strip combo, and then you, giving me a five piece chicken strip combo. This is going to be awesome.

Congratulations, Popeye's you're now back in my Top 3 fast food stops in town.

I love you.

Your friend, Andy.

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