Polygraph Press Conference on ESPN 97.7...

Polygraph Press Conference - January 28, 2026

Tune in for the Polygraph Press conference every week on ESPN 97.7. Lawrence gets coaches on a lie detector test to find out what's really going on.

Fake Will Hardy - Utah Jazz

"Yeah, um look, yeah we're really beat up about the loss. I mean I've got the Ainge twins who put a dog collar around my neck; if we get within ten points I see Russia. Um they don't care. Look Kevin Love needs to become a full-time employee of someone's podcast. Um Walker Kessler, I haven't seen him in months; I think he's working full-time with that redhead at UCCU bank or whatever the heck. Kyle Anderson needs to worry less about his hairline and more about his defensive rotations; he moves like that dog on that show who, you know, only his front legs work? Um Our young guys are all terrible. I didn't draft em! I mean they literally didn't ask me for one um evaluation on any of these goofballs. Cody Williams needs to play in um, does the WNBA have a G League? Maybe he can go play at Alabama. If I understand college is accepting professionals but um, Ace played pretty well, but he's not great. Isaiah Collier turns it over like he's handing out food to Katrina victims. Brice Sensabaugh had one good game and you know now he shoots every possession off the bench. Um, this job is hell, um the Clippers have a bunch of guys who were born when Jimmy Carter was in office and we can't get any buckets in the paint. Kawhi Leonard is getting paid 200 million a year by Enron or whatever; Ballmer should be in prison, but Silver's afraid. Anyway... who do we play next? I mean I don't even care. We've stopped practicing. We don't do practices anymore. We only show up on game days; I make em get here 30 minutes before the game, but I won't see these idiots again until our next game and I don't even know, what? When is it?! Tonight?! Oh gosh. Alright..."

Fake Jerrod Calhoun - Utah State Basketball

"Alright... let's see truth, gotta say true things um, let's see. This is my last game as the coach at Utah State. I'm going to take the Oregon job, um I don't see a point in belaboring—if that's the right word, but it's the inevitable. Um, look Once we lost to UNLV at home right after losing to that online college, I knew I had to head for open waters. I don't know how I've won any games with this group; I don't know most of their names, um but, you know Falslev flails around and tries really hard; the kid Collins, he you know has cooled off quite a bit, but um, you know, if we get into the tournament, if KenPom deigns us worthy to get in, I'll come back and coach that, but um, you know it's a great environment here in Logan and we've got Wyoming tonight, so all the townies from Hyrum and Smithfield, come on out and we'll throw some t-shirts at ya and you can dance on the jumbotron and hope Wild Bill takes his pants off, but you know all good things come to an end and it's been fun. Anyway..."

Fake Kevin Young - BYU Basketball

"Okay well, I guess I'll start with the other night, um. We need to pay A.J. a couple more million to make a shot. His dad is asking us to pay him per possession; I'm supposed to walk out on the floor every possession with cash. I guess it's one hundred thousand for a three-pointer in the second half; it's two hundred and fifty thousand to make a jumper in the last three minutes. There's upcharges; I thought it was a lump sum that we already paid, but I guess there's fees we gotta pay on top of that. Um let's see after Rob and Richie and A.J. and I guess Kayta, our team is full of uh, I mean these guys couldn't play for Utah, but um you know I've been told if I don't go to the Final Four I'm gonna start having to put more missionaries on the roster, which you know, that's a death sentence. I'd rather go be Larry Stotts' assistant's assistant but, um we'll be okay. We've got um Kansas on Saturday in Lawrence; it's always hard to win against Bill Self's toupee, but I think we'll battle out there. Thanks..."