Big Tad NFL Recap (Week 7)
Big Tad Transcript:
Alright Andy, let's get to it. We got a new sponsor for this, Fabulous Freddy's. If my wife took our car anywhere else she'd be on the street.
Broncos 33 Saints 10. Spencer Rattler they're gonna resurrect the alliance football league just so they can send you there. What's wrong with you? Didn't you win a bunch of flag football tournaments when you were seven? Todd McShay said you were a star. You should pick up some door dash shifts. Jamal Williams, BYU called, your play is causing people to leave the church. Bub Means, your dad is no longer sure you're his. Kool-Aid Mckinstry, what flavor are you? burnt toast? It's called back peddling. Do some drills. Dennis Allen, I thought we fired you last week. Poor New Orleans. The state of Louisiana hasn't had it this bad since Karl Malone hit puberty. Um...
Jags 32 Pats 16. This was worse than having to watch a soccer game, honestly. Jerrod Mayo it's a little harder than it looks I guess. You suck. Rhamondre Stevenson you should be a chimney sweep. Just stay in London. You're slower than Prince William's hairline recession. Doug Peterson, keep you visor another week. Trevor Lawrence you throw like a british prince, one of the inbred ones that had a palsy. Good win idiot now do it when the world isn't asleep. Tank Bigsby, yum yum yum. Devin Lloyd, 11 tackles, Morgan Scalley stand up, but please don't text. Um...okay.
She hawks 34 Falcons 14. Kirk Cousins you're supposed to throw the ball to your own team idiot. Do your ribs hurt again? Why don't you give some of the money back. How many stanley mugs does your wife need? Tyler Allgeier, we called BYU, they say they've never heard of you. Raheem Morris, you suck. Ray Ray McCloud the third, don't have any children. Geno Smith way to go. Kobe Bryant good job. Stay out of Colorado. Jake Bobo try running. Jackson Smith EnJigbah, do you have Covid? okay...
Bills 34 Oilers 10. Josh Allen great job this win will help you sleep at night when Mahomes disembowels you in the playoffs. Mason Rudolph, you're like a pest control salesman. I don't want to make eye contact I just want you off my property. You fumble more than Tiki Barber. Calvin Ridley where did you learn to run rowts? an A.A. meeting? Dalton Kincaid, three catches fifty two yards. Yewts stand up. Good job. But take that stupid collar thing off. Your brain's not that important. I've heard some of your interviews. Cole Bishop, one tackle, yewts stand up. Way to betray Kyle for a mickey mouse NFL career. Um...
Bungles 21 Little boy elfs 14. Deshaun Watson, we're all hoping for the best. Dorian Thompson-Robinson, instead of going by DTR, you should go by little dwarf who throws like Carly Ray Jepsen. Jaimis Winston...back baby. Get him a hundred dollar gift card to Red Lobster. Nick Chubb, you run like Jim Brown...long pause...you see where this one is going? Jim Brown's dead, okay. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do I need to keep going? Joe Burrow good job Coach Orgeron couldn't be more proud. He's living in a swamp in Shreveport. Zach Moss, six carries, seven yards, good job, you betrayed the yewts for a mickey mouse pro career. um okay...
Cheese Heads 24 Oilers 22. Jordan Love. Aggies stand up. Now please don't date a NASCAR driver. Romeo Dobbs yum yum yum. CJ Stroud I thought you were gonna win the MVP, was it for something other than quarterbacking? Dalton Schultz, Bingham high called, they said they didn't teach that technique. You have more trouble getting open than a Panda Express during COVID. You're like a permanent tackle eligible out there. Stefon Diggs, I thought everybody else was the problem. You stink. Joe Mixon, thanks for not punching your girlfriend during the game. Josh Jacobs yum yum yum. Okay um...
Colts 16 Dolphins 10. Tyler Huntley you stink. Miami would be better off with Ray Finkle at QB. Tyreek Hill you had one catch for eight yards you idiot. Go back to junior college. Raheem Mostert you're really fast at running into the arms of a linebacker. You're like that girl in the notebook. The defender twirls you around but then your parents aren't too thrilled with his socio economic background. You suck.
Lions 31 Vikings 29. Sam Darnold, good start to the season Gingerella, now turn in your slippers, the prince wants to go with the blonde. Jared Goff good win mouth breather, if the city of Detroit still exists in January you might be able to get a playoff win. Jamir Gibbs, yum yum yum. Kevin O'Connell, spend less time doing jaw line exercises and more time on your play calling. Take your hat off we all know your bald. Aaron Jones you should go play for the Jets. Jordan Addison, Lincoln Riley called, can he be your pool boy? Dan Campbell, good win, but relax, here's some human flesh. Alright anyway...
Birds 28 G. Men 3. Daniel Jones you should go back to Duke and play Lacrosse. Maleek Neighbors, why do you run in slow motion. Brian Dayball, pack up your things in a box, why is it nothing hot pockets. Here's some hims pills. Devin Singletary, get some contact lenses. Saquon Barkley, Sandusky says great game. Nick Sirianni, you escaped getting whacked good job, now stop crying and get to work. Um okay...
Rams 20 Lloyd Christmas and friends 15. Mark Davis, stop chasing blondes and put in Tom already. Your motto shouldn't be just win baby it should be I'm. Sorry. Daddy. Gardner Minshew, Mike Leach called, he says try the other arm. DJ Turner more like DJ Turn in your things. Daniel Carlson, you're the best player on the team. Tray Tucker, more like Tray Tuck your tail between your legs and go back to whatever pee pee soaked heck hole we got you from. Sean McVay good win, you're like if Jon Gruden didn't have a hotmail account. Matthew Stafford, you're not very good. You should have retired after you did those verizon commercials. okay um...
Commanders 40 Panthers 7. Carolina should join the UAC. Who's calling their offense? Andy Ludwig? Chubba Hubbard run north and south idiot. Ja'Tavion Sanders, you're not good enough to have an apostrophe in your first name. You can pick it back up when you learn how to catch. Andy Dalton, try using the laces. Bryce Young, blink if you want us to call CPS. Jayden Daniels, we're hoping for the best. Marcus Mariota, good job, now go drive your kids around while your wife naps. Austin Eckler, good game, try running in bounds. Bobby Wagner, aggies stand up. This guy was in Logan for many years without one assault charge. Put up a statue next to Merlin.
Swifties and the refs 28 forty niners 18. Um...Brock Purdy, colorblind. Good thing you're only paying him seventeen dollars. Maybe Kappernick will come back if you guys stop oppressing black men. Jordan Mason you run like an american made sedan. Kyle Jewseck, your wife needs you to stop at hobby lobby on the way home. Ricky Pearsall, you can dodge bullets but you suck at football. Maleek Mustapha, Mahomes owns you. Your first chore, spend 15 minutes with his wife. Kareem Hunt, thanks for not punching any women during the game. Mickole Hardman, you should be a yell leader. Xavier Worthy, you've been traded back to the combine. Travis Kelsee, you shouldn't film commericals during the games. anyway um...
Steelers 37 Jets 15. Hey eh, eh Ron, it's time to start making commercials for copper fit and wrangler. You're career is over. Maybe if you got vaxxed your body would still work. Davantay Adams, you're like when Randy Moss played for the Titans. CJ Mosley, your pads aren't for decoration. Woody Johnson, you're an idiot, you should get back into politics. Ay, ay Ron. Pat Macafee called, he's cancelling your next hundred appearances. Danger Russ, way to go el seven weenie. Anyway...
Enjoy monday night football double header here on hot 97. I'll see you next week for a full report. Big Tad signing off.
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