Big Tad NFL Recap Week 5 on ESPN 97.7

Big Tad

Pats 23 Bills 20. Drake Maye congrats on getting your genital cuff removed. You're Bar Mitvah is scheduled for Tuesday at that massage parlor Kraft goes to. Steffon Diggs, thanks for showing up. Josh Allen, maybe if you weren't so busy carrying your wife's purse you could make some plays when it mattered. It's not January yet, you're supposed to still be winning these meaningless games. Dalton Kincaid, Utah stand up. Nice game. James Cook, one yard per carry ain't bad. Sean McDermott go back to Ireland. Anyway...

Vye Queens 21 New Browns 17. Dillon Gabriel good game pretty boy, you should be a model for Gap, children's clothing. You suck. Why don't you do everyone in Cleveland a favor and give the job to Shid doosh. His dad said he's earned it. Isaiah Bond, don't run rowts while texting. Jerry Judy, that nerd from that show that sucked called, what's his name?! Drew Carrey, he said cleveland sucks and so do you. Anyway...

Colts 40 Silver and Black 6. Pete take the gloves off, don't worry you're going to a nice farm out in the country. Geno Smith color blind. Ashton Jenty, Air Force ain't walking through that door. Jakobi Meyers, suck, stop spending so much time at Treasures. Max Crosby, good job you get one tackle for loss and take the rest of the game to choreograph new dance moves. Give us our money back. Anyway...

Saints 26 Jee Men 14. New Orleans needed this win after Katrina. Jaxson Dart you and Skatteboo were cute for exactly one week. It's not so easy when you don't have Lane Kiffin in your ear the whole game running up the score on Mississippi State. Skattebo0, try holding onto the ball dumb dumb. What's wrong with you? You don't have Dillingham's adderall anymore? You suck. Brian Dayball, you have a meeting out by the hudson river at midnight. Come a lone. Anyway...

Cow girls 37 Jets 22. Justin Fields, it's not your fault it's somebody else's. Aaron Glenn go coach Bishop Sycamore. Jake Ferguson, good game idiot, your dances are really cute, hand the ball to the official, shut up, and run back to the bench. Anyway...

Bronk Hoes 21 Birds 17. Nice choke Sirianni. Go bawl your eyes out somewhere. Jalen Hurts, good game tough guy, not so easy when you're not riding in a Baby Bjorn is it? Sean payton good win, now pay all your players that injured the other team. Bo Nix, you don't have to wear that eye black to bed. Anyway...

Pant Hers 27 Ray Finkles 24. Mike McDaniel nice choke. H.R. wants to see you, no not because of the drug use, because they have some paper work for you to fill out. It's okay you can learn to code. Tua, Saban just called, he's giving the starting job back to Hurts. Bryce Young, nice game little fella, here's an apple sauce pouch. Rico Dowdle, who are you? Anyway...

New Oilers 44 Old Browns 10. Cooper Rush, slight pinch, shh, it's okay, it'll only hurt for a second. Shh. Count down from ten. Derrick Henry, call Jake from state farm, see if you can borrow his legs. John Harbaugh, focus on winning next preseason. You could also try getting Connor's number from Jim. He's being waterboarded somewhere in Cuba. Anyway...

Old Oilers 22 Cardinals 21. Amari Demercado come here, it's okay, slight pinch, nope nope, stop it, slight pinch, shhh, shhh...okay okay, you're going to mexico. Jonathan Gannon, it's okay, shut up, nope, shut up, get in the trunk, get his legs in the trunk. Okay okay. Alright, Kyler Murray your homework this week is to log on to the team huddle account, you don't have to watch any film, just get your log in credentials. Cam Ward good win, there were some Alliance Football League scouts at the game. Anyway...

Tompa 38 She Hawks 35. Sam Darnold, colorblind. Mike McDonald it's called defense, there's a brochure in your office. Baker Mayfield, white guy grit. Cooper Kupp, you look like KlowPeck from the burbs. Anyway...

Lions 37 Bungles 24. Jake Browning, colorblind. Slight pinch. Jamar Chase it's fun to celebrate sometimes down 20 points. Jared Goff good game mouth breather. Samah Jay Peerine, you run like Donovan McNabb...'s mom in those Chunky soup commercials. Anyway...

Redacted Skins 27 San Diego 10. Justin Herbert, try throwing it to your teammates. Nice crowd by the way, are they A.I.? Keenan Allen, there's a big farm in Canada with lost of space, for your beard. Ladd McKonkey try running a rowt longer than seven inches. Jayden Daniels good win hopefully you didn't sustain another hang nail and will be able to play again next week. Anyway...

Talk to you next week sport fat!